48 Hour Sentence

I have been thinking a lot lately that I really need to get it together and get back to blogging. I've been making a lot of empty blogging promises. It's been a very busy 8 months - studying, testing, learning and everything else that comes with completely changing your profession. My last exam that I am able to take at this time is just around the corner and I'm thrilled to be done with that part and be able to get back to life and not thinking about it non-stop.

However, at this point I'm not sure what's going on with my exam and it might be a little longer before I am able to celebrate the end, which led to this post. Let me back track a little bit...

Things are busy. I have been preparing for another broker exam, I'm working and I'm trying to train for a temporary part-time job...and then there's life in general. This week coming up especially was going to be very chaotic and I have been trying my best to prepare and organize for all its events.

Thursday I had to go to a training. It only took place a couple of hours away, but the trainer offered  to provide me an accommodation. Normally, this drive would not bother me. Really, it was only two days of travel. It occurred to me that with my exam sneaking up having to travel home and then back the following day would steal several hours I could use to study. So, I decided to take her up on the offer.

It was perfect...after training I went to the local grocery store and stocked up on some items to hold me over, went and checked into my hotel and hunkered down. I spent the whole evening studying and it was great. Somewhere around 10:30pm I decided to call it a night and put away the books. I got ready for bed and decided to get my Ipad and pull up an episode of Shameless to end the evening.

My Ipad was low on juice, so earlier I had plugged it in to charge. A few minutes into the show, I decided I best take the charger out of the wall while I was thinking of it - since it was on the opposite side of the night stand and a little out of the way I knew it was likely I would forget it the next morning. I roll to the right, grabbed my charger and then rolled back. I realized my knee has locked up - this is common with the condition of my knee. I usually play with my knee cap a little, get it moving around a bit and it is fine. It never lasts more than a few minutes.

So, I go through my little routine and nothing is happening. Crud. My knee is bent at a 90 degree angle and locked. Awesome.

I got some hot towels and wrapped it around my knee, hoping the heat might loosen it up and everything would function properly again. I tried anything/everything I could think of. It was so painful when I tried to extend it, but as long as it was bent, it was fine. I decide I just need to put a pillow under it, try to go to bed and hope that it works itself out by morning.

I hardly slept at all. At first, I think it was more the anxiety of the situation. I think deep down I knew something was wrong. As the night went on, even in the bent position, it started to ache a bit. By 4am I was over it.

I got up and tried putting hot towels on it again, I tried putting some ice on it, I tried moving it around. Nothing. I decide at this point I have to go to the ER. I was thinking about it all night, but really hoped to avoid it as I worried they might have to snap it back into place. Personally, I think that's something someone should only have to experience once in their life as it is a bit traumatizing...and I've already experienced this twice, twice in one day! Hence the reason I sat all night trying to pretend this wasn't happening...

I can't extend my leg, let alone reach the floor or put pressure on it. I pull the chair from the hotel room desk over and I use that to help me hop around. I brush my teeth, wash my face, deodorize and get changed - all with great difficulty. I continue to use my chair to help me gather all of my items and pack up my bags.

Now what? I really have no choice but to call the front desk for help. So, I do. A young lady answers my cry for help.

Me: Hi, my name is Brittany. I'm in Room 110 and I have hurt myself.
Silence.
Me: I think I need to get to the ER. I was just wondering if there is someone available to carry my bags to my car.
Silence.
Me: Hello?
Her: Yea...Sure...I can come help you.

Poor thing. She did not know what to think. But, she arrived to help me. She grabs all of my bags. She even fetched me a cane. Unfortunately since I can't touch down on the ground - it wasn't very helpful. I still had to hop along. I used the cane and the wall and manage to get to the lobby.

It is now that I realize that I have no idea how I'm going to get ME to my car. I ask the lovely lady if she is able to drive a standard, which thankfully she is and thankfully is also willing to bring my car up to the door. So, off she goes and I think "Okay...You've done it...You're almost there, you just need to drive yourself to the hospital."

I'm standing in the door and the car isn't moving. It is frosted over, so I think she's probably just giving it a minute. Then, it starts to move forward...FORWARD! It need to be moving backwards. The reverse lights are not on and I realize she's having trouble getting it in reverse. She starts moving forward again...and again...she's still not getting it in reverse. At this point, the front of the car is no longer in the parking lot...it has moved off of the pavement and is now starting to inch its way down over the grassy hill. Oh dear.

She gives it another try and this time takes a giant leap....forward! The car is literally off of the parking lot and moving down the bank. A bit further and we may be at a point of no return. But I can't move. I am standing there watching my almost paid for car head down over the hill and I cannot do a damn thing about it.

I look for help and there is this poor man trying to enjoy his continental breakfast...which came to an end. Thankfully he could also drive a standard and I sent him out to give her a hand. He goes out and I can see him talking to her through the window. He goes over to the passenger side and gets in with her. Then he gets out and walks to a baby barn and comes back with some 2x4's. He places them under the tires, the girl gets out, he gets in and slowly is able to reverse my car back up over the hill, onto the parking lot and brings it up to the front door. Phew.

That poor girl. I cannot imagine how panicked she felt. In the grand scheme of things, it's a bunch of connected metal and it is what it is. Although, I probably only feel that way now that Mr. Continental Breakfast has rectified the situation. He even helped me hop out to my car.

I take a breather and lean waaaaaay down in my seat. Since my knee is bent, reaching the gas and break is quite difficult. Somehow I manage to get out of St. George and onto the highway which made for much easier travel. I didn't face much more difficulty until I got to St. Stephen and had to shift, break and gas my way through town. Thankfully the hospital is not from the highway.

Finally, I arrive. I am in the parking lot...but how do I get into the ER?

Ah ha...I google the hospital and call the front desk.

Me: My name is Brittany and I am in the parking lot and I have hurt myself. I can't walk and am wondering if there is someone available to come help me in?
Her: Sure, I'll send a LPN right out.
Me: Thank you.
Her: What are you driving?
Me: A silver Volkswagen, but there is another one a few cars down so I'll get out so they can find me.

I get out of the car. It is very cold out...and I wait and I wait and I wait...and I eventually sit back down into the car. A decent amount of time goes by and I know people are busy but...did they forget about me?

Finally, this young lad comes out. He has come on his own and soon realizes he needs a wheelchair (I apparently needed to be more specific). He returns with a wheelchair and kindly escorts me in. No LPN apparently was available and no one in the ER wanted to come get me. How nice. But Ed came to my rescue, that's all that matters. He hung out with me and wheeled me everywhere I needed to go until I reached my final destination. Thank you, Security Guy Ed...If not I may still be in the silver Volkswagen at the CCH parking lot.

Finally. I did it. I'm at the ER. All is well. Except, if they even suggest snapping it back, I'm not so sure I would be able to flee the scene in this wheelchair.

I had Ms. Skeptical as my triage nurse, who took all of my information with a little scowl, raised eyebrows and an eye roll here and there. I also think my x-ray technicians might dabble in a little S&M by night. If so, I believe their business to be very successful as they managed to cause me great pain while they seemed to get a bit of pleasure out of it.

I have a good tolerance for pain. But, they had to try to straighten my leg as much as possible for one of the x-rays and the pain was indescribable. It was so excruciating that I instantly thought I was going to throw up. A wash of sweat came over, I gasped to breath and came very close to losing my cookies on the x-ray table..only to hear..."I NEED YOU TO BREATH". 

Thankfully, the slide turned out...or maybe it didn't...I have no idea. But they didn't make me do it again and the last slide was at a more preferable angle.

The poor nurse assigned to bring me my meds was trying so hard to be patient as I took all four pills individually and with great difficulty. I am almost 31 and still can't swallow pills without several attempts and a few gags. Yet another Rice deficiency. She did have a smile on her face while she gave me a few impatient toe taps. Not sure if they were supposed to cancel each other out or compensate for the other.

Beyond that point - all was well. The Doctor was great, I felt like he listened to me and didn't disregard anything I was saying. I felt like he believed the pain I was in and how trying this has all been. He is adamant I go back to my orthopedic surgeon as "you can't live like this". Right? That's what I've been saying!

I don't have a problem with my surgeon. I actually like him. He explains things thoroughly and has always wanted to ensure I understand, which I appreciate. I just find it frustrating to live this way at 30. It really limits my abilities and activities. I do hope to have children, but worry about how I would be able to get down and play with them, keep up with them and actively engage with them. But, I also understand his decision. I am very thankful that just about a year ago he decided against removing my knee cap altogether. Since deciding the only option is a knee cap replacement,  he also decided I am too young. It would only last me 10 years, maybe less and he said he would like to wait until I am at least 40. In moments like this, 10 years seems very, very far away. Especially considering that I am in quite a predicament after merely leaning over in my bed.

My ER doctor said the degeneration is substantial from my 2015 x-ray to the x-ray I just had and thinks it definitely needs to be revisited. Otherwise, nothing was determined. My knee cap is not out of place. After discussing the situation with the orthopedic surgeon on call in Saint John, they both agreed not to manipulate my leg. I was so happy to hear this! I was so anxious...having to snap something back into place is traumatizing. It is locked, but if they try to straighten it, it'll still be locked, but just in a different position. So they both agreed it had no benefit. Their opinion is that a piece of arthritic fragment has come loose and is lodged somewhere it does not belong, ceasing my mobility. So, I'm resting, elevating, icing and medicating for the next 48 hours. The plan is to get the swelling to go down, see if there is any movement and if things begin to function properly again. If not, well...I don't actually know what happens in 48 hours if that doesn't happen...except that I need to return to the ER. I really hope if that happens that I get yet another doctor who will disagree with manipulation.

Since they had me hopped up I was told I could not drive. I sent out a help text for a ride home. Good ole Rebecca was already on her way. I had texted her from the hotel that I was hurt and was going to try to get myself to the ER. When she texted me and didn't hear back, she immediately came after me. It was perfect timing...she arrived as I was being discharged, hooked me up with some crutches, a Tim's breakfast and took me home...my poor VW is still sleeping over (I hope!)

Since I'm now on a 48 hour couch sentence - I bring you this post. I'm still choosing joy these days...even though I'm in pain, annoyed, tired and sometimes bored. I am looking at the bright side, which is that I finally followed my own advice...I landed in the ER but I had on an excellent choice in underwear and shaved legs! Those of you who know me, know this has not been the case in the past...Success!!

The Ole Grey Mare...

So, I have established several times that I turned 30...and yes, I knew this would bring some changes. However, I did not expect to become OLD overnight. There had been some things here and there which were making me feel a wee bit aged, but for the most part I thought I was still doing good.

No, no. I was blind, but now I see! Let me give you example number one...

I have these ridiculous lists I have to make in order to accomplish anything. They can be quite extensive. Unfortunately, if it is not on the list it is not going to be completed. For some reason I am having trouble remembering my medication. This is a big no-no. Put it on your list, you say? That's it - I can't even remember to put it on my list. I obviously have this medication prescribed for a reason, and therefore need to be taking it regularly. When I forget, it gives me a terrible headache - not to mention the lack of pain relief throughout the day. I hate having things out on my counters and I try to keep them clear of randomness (this is my OCD). But if I put them in a cupboard, I don't remember to take them. So, I compromised by putting them on the counter in the master bathroom, but I never remembered to take them there either. At one point I put them in my lunch kit, and when I had my 10am break each morning I would get into my lunch kit to get my snack and I would remember. It was perfect...but now I am at a different job and no longer have to take a lunch. I have tried keeping them in my bag, in my car...but if they're out of sight, they're out of mind...until I start to physically feel it. By then, it's too late. When I do happen to remember my pills exist, I can't remember when I took them and when I didn't. Did I take my pill this morning? Did I take my pills tonight? I'm 30 and senile. In the efforts of finding solutions to these problems, I purchased this...

Thirty and...using a pill dispenser. This $5 case has made me suddenly feel 70 years old. Now I just have to remember to fill it.

Medications are not the only thing I have been forgetting. Which leads me to example number 2.  Normally, everything has a place in my world. But it seems that I can't find anything lately. Bank card, keys, cell phone...I can't seem to leave the house with all 3. Since I need the keys to physically leave, that is usually the one item I do have. When I do manage to remember my cell phone, I typically forget it wherever I have gone - leaving it at work, my sisters, etc. I have yet to leave it at the Wal-Mart, so it could be worse.  There have been a few full days and early mornings for me lately, and I do my best to get ready the night before but I still manage to forget the items I put aside on the table, bar or counter top. My biggest problem is that when I plug in my cell phone, I forget to get it and put it in my bag. But then I discovered - anything that I need to remember to put in my bag in the morning I put with my bra. Because somehow I do manage to remember that each day. So, when I go to put on my bra, I see it and put it in my bag. Problem solved. Well, the problem of leaving items behind. But, is my solution a problem of its own? Before long my bra will be with my cell phone, my pants in the fridge with my snack and my medication with my shoes. When I start to forget things like my bra...we have a real problem.

So, now that we have me dressed, packed and medicated - I need to manage to keep up with the times. I give you...example number three. The final example and really, all the example I need to prove my point. I'm scrolling through my FaceBook one evening and there's this funny little video and it's titled Netflix and Chill. Hahahaha, it was so funny - I'm going to share it ...TO REBECCA'S WALL. The next day there is another funny little Netflix and Chill post and I share that one as well, and another, and another. I love to Netflix and Chill. Sometime down the line, I scroll across a post similar to this:
Daughter: What is Netflix and Chill?
Mom: I means you're hooking up...

Say whaaaat??? Netflix and Chill does not literally mean you Netflix and Chill? Because I LOVE to Netflix and Chill...like really Netflix and Chill. Those are my favorite days - snowy or rainy and I can just bring up good ole Netflix and lay on my couch and chill. Is this not what Netflix and Chill means??

Apparently not! Apparently Netflix and Chill is some kind of code...a very messed up code. Now, I've shared 100 posts about Netflixing and Chilling because I ACTUALLY Netflix and Chill and now everyone on my FB thinks I'm highly active or just...seeking action.

When did I get so old that I stopped knowing the lingo? I feel like I am going to have to Google everything before I share it now, because things like Netflix and Chill do not mean Netflix and Chill.

While I'm panicking about all my Netflix and Chill posts, I remember a photo of a bunch of people - mostly teenagers mind you, standing with a banner that said 1st Annual  Netflix and Chill Festival. Guess what...I shared that shit... Why? Because I thought it ACTUALLY meant Netflix and Chill!! I thought it was awesome and wished I could attend. However, now I do not - I deleted my post and am now praying for these teenagers and their festival. Someone call their parents!!

So, now I am really weirded out on FB. I don't dare share anything, I am a little leery of even posting the most common things. Last weekend, I took my niece to a university open house and we met up with our cousin for lunch. It was a lovely time, I wanted to give a little shoutout, something like "had an awesome time at lunch today with Emilee"...but I didn't dare. God only knows what that means! Nothing is sacred anymore...not even Netflix. So, when I say Netflix and Chill...I actually mean Netflix and Chill. I am not as inappropriate as my FB is portraying me to be.

PS. Alanis Morisette's Jagged Little Pill album just celebrated its 20th Anniversary...just let that set in for a moment. 

Someday.

I realize it has been quite some time since I have visited and checked in, let alone write a little something. Last post, you all discovered my upcoming career move - a huge decision, which also happened to be my 30th birthday. It has been approximately a month and even though things are still a bit chaotic - you all deserve a little update...The hiatus is over - I'm back!!..(with a funky, fresh new look for my blog).

From the point of making the decision to leave not only my job, but my entire line of work - until the day I actually started my new job equaled 12 days exactly. They were the 12 most grueling days I think I've ever lived, and I've had some pretty rough times. That idle time made a mess of me. I stressed so much over my decision during that time. It really wore me down. I just wanted to jump to my first day so I could stop stirring over my decision...put some actual logic behind my emotions. I didn't even care if it was right or wrong actually - I just wanted feelings that were based on something real and not just thoughts. I was driving myself mad.

I sat in my living room on the eve of my first day and realized I felt nothing. All of the typical emotions you might feel under those circumstances: excitement, nervousness, anticipation, fear...very normal emotions...I felt none of those things. I only felt relieved that the crazy mess of a person I had become would finally move in one direction or another.

The morning arrived - I was starting a new job and I was a mess. I wasn't even nervous about the job, about my first day...I was just nervous that I "wasn't myself" - although I wasn't sure what "myself" felt like anymore. It wasn't a very good feeling to have on that day, a day I needed to be on my game.

My work has dominated my life. It was the biggest piece of me - the piece that really made me me...and then it was gone. I worked all.the.time. On paper, I worked 8:15-2:45pm. Most days, I would get home between 4pm-5pm. I would have supper and I would continue to work in the evenings. I was always trying to find new research, new methods, new resources, constantly communicating, brainstorming, stressing, convincing myself there is an answer, putting things together and squeezing in whatever I missed during the day. I could have worked 24/7 and still found more to do. I would do this until 9pm-10pm. Anything I was involved in (Girl Guides, Library events) really got the short end of the stick. I don't think people realized how much I lived and breathed my work. I loved it, I loved every minute of it -I thrived on knowing I was doing something good, that I was successful. My job was my life. Everything else got half fast parts of me. Friends, family, hobbies - if you can call them that. Work was my hobby. I tried different things, but I never committed because I would always make an excuse and stay home.

I need to be better at being more than work and doing things for me, that is something I hope to do with this job. But at that moment when I was lying wide awake in my bed realizing all that was gone, I panicked. I knew that person, I knew her very well. I knew the routine, the expectations, the abilities, the goals. I woke up - brand new 30 year old me and I was supposed to be this whole new person. I was supposed to feel amazing. I might be - someday. But I really needed that on that day, and not only did I not have it - but I didn't even recognize myself.

My career is gone and I'm not sure who I am without it. I'm not sure to expect from here on out, who I could be or if I will even enjoy this person. There was just too much unknown during that time. I'm not big on the unknown...anytime.

The next 2.5 weeks flew by. Ya know, I really enjoy this thing they call the insurance business lol.  I'm busy learning and being challenged all day and studying for my insurance broker exam in the evenings, which I am so nervous about. In terms of the content of my job, I love it. However, it has been difficult for me. 

I worked in my previous field for over a decade. Even starting out in that field, I had worked with children and youth before as well as earned some education and knowledge to help me out. A lot of my work came naturally to me, but I also worked hard and excelled at any job I took on. I was a go to person in many of my positions. Most of the time, I don't feel very successful in life - except when it comes to work. I was very confident and successful at work. It was the one area where I felt I was doing something right. It was nice to have that. Maybe that's why I gave so much of myself to work. Now, suddenly - that is gone. I go to work and feel completely lost. I worry that I'm not catching on quick enough, that I'm not going to get it, that I'm going to fail this exam, that I've made such a big decision, such a big move and I will not find success again. I go home where I can't seem to find success either - not enough time, not enough money, not enough me. I have been really frustrated with myself. However, as I write and realize it has only been 2.5 weeks...I also realize I'm probably being too hard on myself.

It HAS only been 2.5 weeks...I need to accept that I can't just be good at everything. It will take time and a lot of hard work, but I CAN find success. I'm going to be a kick ass Insurance Broker - someday. Probably many, many somedays from now. But...someday lol.

Today.

Today, I turned 30.

Today, I also reflected back on this year and the hopes I had when starting this journey back in January. I said it would be the Year of Brittany. I haven't always stayed true to this concept, but I have certainly put more effort in than I normally would have. I look back and think about the goals I set, the progress I made and what I have left to accomplish before I head onto 31.

Today, my goals have suddenly changed. When I started this blog I was taking classes, pursuing my education degree and working in the school system. I wanted to make healthier choices and lose weight. I wanted to work on staying positive and feeling blessed, actually mapping out my goals and how to accomplish them as well as following through. So many things…

I have hit many brick walls this Summer. I have also had a few doors open for me. This week in particular has had many up's and down's. My emotions (yes, I do have some…) have been all over the place - quite literally.

Today, I turned 30 - and instead of having a giant birthday blow out or a weekend away before school begins…Today, after a terribly frustrating Summer...I made the decision to leave a job that I love.

If anyone had of asked me in June, I was going to be finishing my days at CICS. However, this was not a rash decision - with my new knowledge it was the right decision. I imagine it is easy to storm out of a job that you hate - slam the door, flip off your boss, whatever your go to gesture might be. But what about one that you don't hate?

This all just happened. So - the guilt, excitement, sadness, nervousness, intrigue, etc. has been condensed into a short period of time. If nothing else, today I feel relieved that the week has finally come to an end.

                                    

  
I have actively been a Child and Youth Care Worker for 10 years, and I've gone as far as this title will take me. I've been a personal care worker in group homes, for home support, as well as an autism treatment facility and then I was lucky to obtain a job in the school system- on a wing and a prayer. However, the first year was really difficult. But I survived! Only to discover my position was being cut. I was hired back for another position, but the capacity of my job changed. Then, more changes for 2015-16 school year. After 10 years of hard work and dedication to the field, as well as moving around - one would think I would be at the height of my career, but somehow I am moving backwards.                                      

I spent the Summer fighting tooth and nail for my future. The only way to move forward is to do what I was doing - build on my education and when I was finished, I would hopefully have more opportunities to feel professionally fulfilled. Upon discovering I could not be approved for additional student loans, I had to face the realization that this was it for me and my career. I'm 30 - probably 30 years away from retiring. Can I really be happy for 30 more years, knowing I can't continue to grow? Not me personally. I lived and breathed my job...my circle of friends stemmed from my job...it has not just been a job to me - but who I am as a person. I'm very emotionally invested…but the fact is that someone will step up to the plate and everything will be okay. I'll be okay, they'll be okay. We all just might even turn out better than okay.

It has taken me all Summer to accept this fate - to accept that after 10 years in this field, working hard and hopefully making a difference somewhere along the way - that I've come to a dead end. Do I sit at my dead end until the end of my days? Or do I want to go back and try a new destination?

Today, I started on that path to a new destination. The only thing that is constant in life is change - someone said that. I should google it and make a proper reference, but this week has been mental exhausting and I can't be bothered. This field is all I've ever known, all I've ever done. Change is scary, going into the unknown is nerve wracking, saying good-bye is hard…But I know my value and what I have to bring to the table and I have more to give - somewhere.

We all deserve to be happy - and I think we should continue to make changes - no matter how frequent - in order to find it. Today, I turned 30 and today I made a life changing decision.

                    

Give Me One Reason...

In honor of my childhood friend Meghan, her birthday, and the beginning of everyone turning 30 - I MAY actually leave my house. Now, this rarely happens and I use the term MAY very loosely. I obviously do leave the house to go to work, and some of the extra community stuff I do. When I finally get to come home and enjoy my house and myself, there are very few things which can entice me into leaving it again. There has to be a damn good reason to get me dressed and out the door...and I can think of MANY reasons why I shouldn't. If you're ever searching for a reason to stay home - look no further!

Let's start off with simply - it's been a long week! You just need to unwind after the work week - and need to rest up for the next one.

You know everywhere you go you will be fighting your way through a crowd of a) stumbling drunk people b) crying and/or loud drunk people or c) just waaaaay too drunk people who really needed to go home two hours ago. You will also likely fall into one of these categories as the night progresses. Hopefully A...A is really the best outcome.

Your couch is far more comfortable than any restaurant chair, bar stool or the inevitable...standing all night long.

You don't have to get anxious about going out, fighting with your friends about who is going to walk in first and then spend the first 20 minutes awkwardly hovering until your shots start to kick in.

You COULD make an excuse to duck out early - but the whole point of not going is not having to do your hair, make up or even get dressed. When you're home, you don't have to wear a bra...or pants.

You save money.

If you go out, there's that one clingy person you can't get away from...or that one person who just will not shut up.  You have managed to somehow get caught up in this random conversation with someone you have no interest in speaking with, and now you have to awkwardly try to ditch. Somewhere along the way - something weird...like, extremely weird is going to happen that will forever be embedded in your brain.

However, if you're home you can feel perfectly comfortable letting your own freak flag fly without judgement.

Then there's nothing to worry about until Monday.

If you go out, people want you to make plans. I am a total planner - but I know there is a 99.9% chance I'm not attending, so I don't like to "plan". Then people expect that you're committed. I struggle with commitment. Unless it's a TV series. Which leads to another excellent reason: Netflix. Enough said.

 

At home, you can stuff your face and eat your emotions and noone will judge.

Also at home: Comfy's. No restricting pants cutting you in half at the waist. No having to squeeze in and out of your Spanx. If you stay home - you don't even have to shower let alone get dressed. You can look however you like...

Pets don't judge. Aloud anyways...

Everyone loves a good book - plus spending a whole evening fighting for your life in The Hunger games arena, dodging bullets from an opposing fraction or not being able to sit on your blistered submissive ass really helps you put your own life into perspective.

Now, how about not having to worry about the morning after FB, Instagram, SnapChat or other social media memorabilia you will find.

Take Out.

You can go to bed whenever you want.

You can blow hours on You Tube or Pinterest...and it's okay.

Most of all - stay home just because you can and you want to! All you young and/or single ladies - you DO NOT have to go out on a Saturday night...I repeat - you do not have to go out on a Saturday night...The world will not stop turning if you do not. I put this theory to the test quite some time ago...and as you can see, I survived long enough to deliver my findings. I am in fact, totally enjoying being a homebody. I think Netflix deserves a second shout out...

Thirty and...All "Groan" Up

Once upon a time, I read that 80% of lifes most significant events take place by 35. This seems realistic since typically you have hit your highlight moments - graduation from high school, graduation from college, marriage, children, etc.

So what's after 35 - your ah-ha moments? Nice...really looking forward to that! Your early 20's are drastically different than your late 20's. I recently read this article on things you should forgive yourself for entitled 14 Things Its Time You Forgave Yourself For.  I think it's an article that everyone should take a look at (I especially love #4 - The fries you ate with your lunch. You'll survive).

It made me think about the past decade (yet again - there's a lot of that happening!). Nearing the end of my 20's, and realizing the things I did, didn't do or the ways I didn't always make the most of them... I started to think about what I could have done differently - or even if I would have done these things differently. Which, if you're wondering - I would not.

Maggie & Rylee

On Thursday evening I went to the 18th birthday celebration of a beautiful young lady, who was my first favourite little kid and like a sister. She's also friends with my 17 year old niece, and another favourite little kid - even though neither are little kids anymore. They're both preparing to branch into the real world. While I watched the excitement unfold and watched these two young ladies, I thought about being that age and having no idea - even though I didn't know I had no idea. So, I thought of some tibbits of information to pass onto them in hopes that they take the 20-30's time frame (when it comes around) and make the most of it, instead of cramming these lessons in at the last minute...like some of us.


1. First bit of advice - You are enough. Always.

2. Time flies is not just a saying.

3. Dr. Seuss really nailed this one: say what you feel. It's true - say what you want, what you need to, what you mean.

4. Take chances and make mistakes.

5. Learn how to budget. At some point you have to begrudgingly admit that keeping track of your finances is actually a good idea.

6. Work the hardest at being good and being kind. Be there for others, but never leave yourself behind.

7. Being the better person is actually a good motto. Which somehow leads me to Face Book - do not sign into FaceBook when you're drunk, depressed or livid!

8. "What am I doing with my life" is a daily question...get used to it.

9. Life is hard. It's harder than hard. Unfortunately we don't get an invitation for the tough times - they just happen.

10. Remember thinking that the grown ups had all the answers? Sorry, noone knows shit!

11. Take breaks and travel.

12. Learn how to cook. Living off Kraft Dinner and Raman Noodles may work in your early 20's, but by your late 20's that shit catches up with you.

13. Which leads up to...staying mentally, physically and emotionally healthy IS important. Work at it.

14. Which also leads up to...stress is toxic. Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you or makes you happy. Whether it's a relationship, a job, friendship. The emotional wear and tear of these toxicities have long term effects...Walk away.

15. You're NEVER going to be ready - We're all a little not ready for life - so just do it.

16. Accept failure and learn how to apologize - we all fail at something and we'll fail at something again. It's okay.

17. Do something you're afraid of - it's exhilarating.

18. Life isn't about things, it's about experiences. Live life and don't rush it. If you're bored, you're doing it wrong.

19. Life is too short to follow the crowd - be different, do what you like, do what makes you happy.

20. Haters are gonna hate...don't let them bring you down. Respect yourself.

21. Contrary to what you used to believe, going to bed at a reasonable hour is actually cool...and becomes necessary the older you get.

22. Dance - even if it's not well, even if you do it alone - dancing has many health benefits (including reduced risk of dementia).

23. #2 in the article I mentioned really nailed a few things for me. Anything goes when you're fighting to keep yourself going. Anything. Don't be ashamed of the things you do during dark times. You'll come back around stronger than before - fight to keep yourself alive and don't be ashamed of how you do it. You're worth it (remember...you're enough).

24. In order to see your friends, you actually have to make an attempt to see your friends. As you get older, as things get crazier and when you figure out who these people are, make time for them.

25. I suppose a decades worth of advice wouldn't be complete unless I said a little something about love. Don't run around looking for love, let love find you. It probably will happen when you least expect it. Now, I'm as much of a Disney fan as the next person, but accept right now that love does not arrive on a horse drawn carriage, in the form of a prince holding your lost glass slipper, which your Fairy God Mother gave you. It also will not come in the form of a giant, hairy, angry beast and magically transform into a handsome Prince. See how far fetched that sounds, now? Regardless of how you find love, you must remember that few decisions will shape your future then who you decide to spend the rest of your life with - so choose well. It's a game changer!

BONUS: It's likely life will not pan out how you expected...it might just be even better.

Love you girls <3

Maggie's Birthday Remake

#Adulting

There is a new word that seems to be spreading like wildfire, and I quite enjoy this word myself. Adulting - as I'm sure you guessed, is to act like or to become an adult. Basically, it is to take on mundane, boring or unenjoyable tasks and responsibilities of an adult. Grammar Girl, Mignon Fogarty posts that adulting is not yet in the mainstream dictionary, and wasn't added to the urban dictionary until 2014. Yet, the word adulting shows up on Twitter 100 times/day and is widely used in social media. I recently discovered there is actually a book on adulting by Kelly Williams Brown - Adulting: How to Become an Adult in 468 Easy(ish) Steps.

Many people think they are adults - but those of you sleeping until noon, playing video games, living off Mommy and Daddy or student loans, and partying most nights...I hate to burst your pretty little bubble, but you are not adulting.

When I first went to stock my college apartment, I made a wonderful list and grabbed everything I thought I needed. However, upon returning to my apartment and plunking my ass down on my toilet, I realized I forgot toilet paper. How did I forget toilet paper? Now I had to get dressed and head back into the city for some TP. I spiraled into an entire epiphany I call, Ode to TP. TP was always just there, it always just appeared. I may have picked it up once or twice before...but I never put much thought into it and clearly not when I was making my list. Funny how we progress through life and TP seems to just appear.

From then on - it was non stop concerns, visits to big kid places like the bank, Service NB, Service Canada, etc. Do you feel my pain? Adulting is hard...and, it does not get any easier. It's like a non-stop roller-coaster of difficulty until you die. That doesn't even seem right. One you realize you have stepped onto this adulting rollar-coaster, there are limited ways of getting off - and especially none that do not require a huge loss of pride and probably significant assistance from your parents. Most of us refuse to go there...#Adulting.

Signs you're adulting...
- Asking for socks for Christmas
- Thank you notes (enough said)
- Buying grandparent gifts - your name is no longer put on one!
- Wearing clothes...daily.
- Dish and laundry piles reproduce all on their own...like rabbits.
- Making lunches
- Washing walls...wtf?!

Are there any positives of adulting?...Well yes, of course there are - but it takes a long time to realize that. In the beginning there are only...Adult beverages!

Speaking of which - adult beverages were part of my weekend plans. I had kick ass plans of heading to Lewiston for a much anticipated concert, in which I intended on sharing every enjoyable detail with you faithful viewers. WARNING - let me prepare you now - there are no funny stories, photos or memorable moments below. Why you ask? To put it simply - Winter 2015.

The weather was not looking very promising - it appeared as though we would be in the eye of the storm both to and from. Mind you - the tickets were not expensive, so I'm not out much except the opportunity to see Theory of a Deadman AND Bush - LIVE! Therefore, this event was in fact not just $30, but priceless.

I very rarely and I mean VERY rarely do anything for myself these days. #Adulting! I was pretty impressed that dead of winter, most expensive season of the year - I booked a concert. I was not only excited to see the artist themselves, but to go on a little trip, spend the night, go out to eat...just enjoy myself.

We had to make a big kid decision...probably at 19-20, I would not have had a care or concern in the world and bombed my way to Lewiston, bouncing from one snow bank and ditch to another. However, I am almost 30 now, and a more mature decision must be made. They say this happens - somewhere between 20 and 30, this thing they call adulting. I think it's safe to say I made the deadline.

While I was a miserable whine ass about not being able to go to my concert - there were many signs that we shouldn't be going. Both Becca and I had other events we really needed to attend. Not going, also meant I wasn't spending money I really didn't have. Yup, I've made the deadline. #Adulting.

I think in the final days of my 20's (187 to be exact) I should purchase this book and make sure I haven't missed any steps...or maybe just hide out under my bed sheet fort.

Thirty and...a country fan???

Probably not (even after a fabulous Garth concert). Any of you who know me, know I am NOT a country fan. I do of course know some country - very classic country such as Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, etc. I am not a fan of the new country - the pop country. However, I do know Garth. I would include him in my classic country category.

Both my cousin, Courtney and my roommate, Becca - my best friends, are huge Garth Brooks fans. Therefore, when he announced that he was doing a World Tour - it was all that was discussed during our visits. It's a wonder they did not crash his website with their frequent tour date check-ins. When he finally and thankfully announced a concert in Boston - it was on! They were all over it, and dragging me along for the ride.

I am always down for a concert, and a trip - and I think both were pleasantly surprised with my knowledge of Garth. I probably know more of his songs than any other country artist - besides Shania. I am not actually a fan of Shania, but when I got my first cd player in elementary school, I of course needed a cd to play in it. My mother fished me out a cd or two from the Walmart $5 bin. Since I really just wanted to use my cd player - I played that $5 cd endlessly. I listened to Shania's self titled 1993 cd, for days! I still know every word!

Saturday arrives, we take off in the morning, as there is a storm on its way - with two huge Garth fans and my happy pills. We finally encounter the storm somewhere between Bangor and Portland. Our trusty driver Courtney trudges along, while I DJ. I'm sure Becca spent this portion of the drive rolling her eyes and wondering how on earth she ended up here, while we sang our hearts out to Roxette, Pat Benatar, Bob Segar and the soundtrack to Dirty Dancing. 

We head slow and steady into the storm... all of the traffic is moving along together in the slow lane. Along comes an 18 wheeler - with the need to pass us all. As he is speeding alongside us - he must lose vision or control or both, because he swerves into our lane - and the water and slush come blasting at us - Courtney cranks the wind shield wipers but we have zero visibility. We are pretty sure we're under this trucks tire - hence the water wave, and the feeling that we're travelling through a car wash. Courtney holds steady and eventually the truck driver regains control - or sanity, not sure which and slides back into his lane. The singing has stopped. I pat Courtney on the shoulder for her superb driving skills, but I'm pretty sure she's still in shock. It takes a minute for us all to come around and continue our dance party. In the moment of terror, not to mention zero visibility - we didn't retrieve the "How's My Driving" number - but if we had - it would not have been a pleasant review!   

Prior to the near death experience, and the worst of the weather -
when it was still fun and games - and apparently fun to take pictures LOL

Slightly recovered from our near death experience, we arrive in Portland. The storm is raging, so we decide to stay put and eat at the hotel restaurant. BTW - if anyone is travelling to Portland and taking the train, The Clarion is the place to stay. It is located just around the corner from the train station, has reasonable rates and nice rooms. They even have air mattresses - in case 2 members of your party might be Typhoid Mary (Courtney and I), leaving the last member not too eager to share a bed with either of us. 

The big day arrives and we're all up before the crack of dawn (who knew a one hour time difference would throw you off). Courtney and I were stirring before 4am, Becca shortly behind. We arrive at the station by 7:30am, ready to go. The train comes along - and we settle into some seats.

Now, if you know me (or Courty, or Becca) then another thing you know about me is that I have a comfort zone and prefer to be in it, and you to be out of it. However, that was not an option on this trip! I have a bum knee and broke my tailbone last year - I am too old to be cramped up in a compact area, regardless of my preference on personal space. Therefore, the train ride looked a little something like this...

Another interesting factor of our train ride - sitting beside the dysfunctional divorced couple...who argued about everything that each other said the entire 3 hours. Needless to say, I felt very normal that day. 

Finally...arrival in Boston! We check into the Holiday Inn Express (yet another fabulous hotel recommendation). It was across the road from the train station and TD Garden. Even though we could not technically check in until 3pm and arrived around 11am - they stored our luggage for us, told us they would get our room ready asap and we could check in early. The view, however, leaves much to be desired. 

We decided to walk down to Quincy Market and do some browsing, souvenir shopping, etc. I loved all the old roads and pathways! It's beautiful. I also love markets. I was in my element.

The time arrived for us to think about eating. The first 4-5 restaurants we came across, had a full seafood only menu - not really the best option if you're allergic to shellfish, like me. "Lergic!" became my phrase of the weekend. As soon as we approached a restaurant and my eyes fell upon their fish and anchor decorated menu, I'd raise my finger into the air and announce "Lergic!". We eventually made our way to the Hard Rock Cafe and had a lovely meal. I tried my best to pick a nice option - which STILL landed me a whoppin' 1,147 calories on top of the bagel and cream cheese I had on the train. It was a good thing it was going to be my only real meal of the day. And, I confess...I had a Pepsi! However - I was on a trip and I decided I would try to be cautious but not crazy, and live a little. 

We ventured back to the hotel to get ready...

...and then we headed out for some cocktails before the concert. Crazy Courty wore her black high heels on the slick and treacherous Boston streets! I could barely keep upright in my boots! 

We had some fabulous nachos (waaaaay over my calories at this point, I'm sure) and magaritas/martinis at Boston Beer Works (another recommendation). This was probably one of the many prime moments that Becca decided we should NOT return to our homes, our jobs, our lives and just chase Garth on tour, drinking margaritas and singing our hearts out lol. 

It's finally time for the gates to open...Courtney and Becca have remained relatively calm, and I am shocked that I haven't had to reel them in. We venture over to TD Garden, we wait for the gates to open...everyone is still in a very serene state...I'm a little WTF. 

We file in with the crowd...Courtney and Becca: still serene. Brittany: still WTF. 

We go past security - no status change. I finally ask what the beeeep is going on. 

No tickets. We haven't received our tickets yet...they're both in panic that there is a problem. They keep pushing us along, telling us we're ok. It is now that I realize, their serene state is actually a state of panic. I'm really WTF at this point - if there is an issue and we don't have tickets, what am I going to do with these two? I will just have to walk away, go back to hotel, let everything run its course and bail them from Boston jail in the morning. 

We approach the final leg...the man asks us for our tickets. Courtney tells him we ordered them online, he kindly asks us for the credit card used to order them, scans it with his little machine hooked to his belt and out pops our 3 tickets! 

This is the exact moment the craziness sets in....I have two happy fan....atics! 

We find our AMAZING seats - thanks to Becca's inability to accept the first 20 shitty seats they tried to offer her....and wait. This was extremely painful for both of them. At one point, Courtney even threatens that if I don't know the words and can't sing along, I'll have to move!! Thankfully, I knew more Garth than she anticipated. 

Courtney was so excited, she broke the face out of her watch! 

The show finally begins...I have two people in complete awe! 

There he is, folks! 

20 years and a few pounds hasn't slowed him down! 

The Garth High - Thing 1

The Garth High - Thing 2.

It sadly comes to an end...3 hours of Classic Garth! 

I must say it was a fabulous concert, I did a lot of singing, hooting, hollering and dancing - country fan or not! We returned home safely, lucky enough to get ahead of the storm of the decade. Extra lucky to have a snow day today, and an opportunity to rest up and begin planning our life of chasing Garth on tour, drinking margaritas and singing until our vocal chords clamp up. 

Miss Rice might have a little cowgirl in her, after all ;)