Friday, May 8, 2015

Give Me One Reason...

In honor of my childhood friend Meghan, her birthday, and the beginning of everyone turning 30 - I MAY actually leave my house. Now, this rarely happens and I use the term MAY very loosely. I obviously do leave the house to go to work, and some of the extra community stuff I do. When I finally get to come home and enjoy my house and myself, there are very few things which can entice me into leaving it again. There has to be a damn good reason to get me dressed and out the door...and I can think of MANY reasons why I shouldn't. If you're ever searching for a reason to stay home - look no further!

Let's start off with simply - it's been a long week! You just need to unwind after the work week - and need to rest up for the next one.

You know everywhere you go you will be fighting your way through a crowd of a) stumbling drunk people b) crying and/or loud drunk people or c) just waaaaay too drunk people who really needed to go home two hours ago. You will also likely fall into one of these categories as the night progresses. Hopefully A...A is really the best outcome.

Your couch is far more comfortable than any restaurant chair, bar stool or the inevitable...standing all night long.

You don't have to get anxious about going out, fighting with your friends about who is going to walk in first and then spend the first 20 minutes awkwardly hovering until your shots start to kick in.

You COULD make an excuse to duck out early - but the whole point of not going is not having to do your hair, make up or even get dressed. When you're home, you don't have to wear a bra...or pants.

You save money.

If you go out, there's that one clingy person you can't get away from...or that one person who just will not shut up.  You have managed to somehow get caught up in this random conversation with someone you have no interest in speaking with, and now you have to awkwardly try to ditch. Somewhere along the way - something, extremely weird is going to happen that will forever be embedded in your brain.

However, if you're home you can feel perfectly comfortable letting your own freak flag fly without judgement.

Then there's nothing to worry about until Monday.

If you go out, people want you to make plans. I am a total planner - but I know there is a 99.9% chance I'm not attending, so I don't like to "plan". Then people expect that you're committed. I struggle with commitment. Unless it's a TV series. Which leads to another excellent reason: Netflix. Enough said.


At home, you can stuff your face and eat your emotions and noone will judge.

Also at home: Comfy's. No restricting pants cutting you in half at the waist. No having to squeeze in and out of your Spanx. If you stay home - you don't even have to shower let alone get dressed. You can look however you like...

Pets don't judge. Aloud anyways...

Everyone loves a good book - plus spending a whole evening fighting for your life in The Hunger games arena, dodging bullets from an opposing fraction or not being able to sit on your blistered submissive ass really helps you put your own life into perspective.

Now, how about not having to worry about the morning after FB, Instagram, SnapChat or other social media memorabilia you will find.

Take Out.

You can go to bed whenever you want.

You can blow hours on You Tube or Pinterest...and it's okay.

Most of all - stay home just because you can and you want to! All you young and/or single ladies - you DO NOT have to go out on a Saturday night...I repeat - you do not have to go out on a Saturday night...The world will not stop turning if you do not. I put this theory to the test quite some time ago...and as you can see, I survived long enough to deliver my findings. I am in fact, totally enjoying being a homebody. I think Netflix deserves a second shout out...

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