Wednesday, July 29, 2015


It seems lately that I'm playing a terrible hand at life - over and over. I don't know what kind of game it is, and I hate to be cliché, but it really is a bit like a bad dream I can't wake up from. I know things could be much, much worse...but I'm having the kind of Summer where each day brings a new dilemma and I'm trying to be a good sport...but I'm losing steam.

I have been adulting so much lately, it's exhausting. I have all this stuff I'm trying to sort out and the obstacles are never ending. I've been really good, too - not avoiding any of it - I'm actually working at it consistently. But, I must say it is far easier to avoid it. Either way, it is not being resolved so why exhaust myself? Oh right, because this is adulting. Pfft.

Last Wednesday (ya know - Weigh-In-Wednesday) I had had a kick ass week...adulting and all! I wake up and I am ready for it, I'm looking forward to it. I have an appointment up river, an adulting kind of appointment. Now, when your appointment is at 10 and you're back to your car by 10:03... that's not good - regardless of the appointment.

I am losing at my game of life...I can hear it taunting me - Checkmate, bitch.
I'm sitting in my car, trying to fight off a break down. I tell myself to pull it together so I can at least drive myself home. Next stop? McDonald's of course - because this kind of adulting calls for gross food that you think will make you feel better. Why do we think it will make us feel better? Sometimes it even does, but when you're not used to eating it, it actually only makes you sick.

I roll up to the window...they're not serving lunch yet. Okay, this is a sign, Brittany. Pull away from the window and exit the parking lot. This is your chance to make a better decision. Yea, that would have been far too responsible and adult like. So, naturally... I wait. 


Yup, that's right. I wait for them to serve lunch. I order what I consider an effective amount of emotional aid - for $9.32 (another indicator this is a bad idea, it can't be real if it's that cheap). Then, I'm finally headed home.

But is weigh in Wednesday folks!!! WEIGH-IN-WEDNESDAY and I just ate my weight in McD's. Checkmate.

I spent the rest of the day in bed but actually did haul myself out when it was time for TOPS so I could face the music. I had my day of doom - the day I just couldn't handle another loss. I think we all need one every once in awhile. When the sun pulled up the next morning, I reminded myself it was a new day and new possibilities would be waiting, I just needed to find them. It was time to pull myself up by my bootstraps and move on.

A new week arrives, even though I have yet to sort out my situation, I've continued on every day since. I intended to run some errands and grab some groceries on Tuesday, when my friend called needing someone to watch her son, so I offer to take him with me. No big deal, he is a great traveler and it was going to be quick (yea...)

We left right on time - approximately 9:30am. We had a bunch of little errands to run and finally it's time to get groceries before heading home. It is 11:30am, so we're doing well on time. We'll be back early afternoon and still have time to enjoy the day.

I always have a very meticulous shopping list, so we slide right through the Super Store grabbing items. We are now overflowing and heading to the register. Bennett has even selected a lovely TMNT bath scrubbie, so we're all content. I load up the car, we head over the bridge, decide to grab a quick lunch and then we're off to Walmart for a handful of my American preferred items. I am very impressed with our timing - it's just about Bennett's nap time, which is perfect as he'll sleep the whole ride home.

I'm happily pushing the cart to the car, I pop the trunk and begin unloading our items. As soon as I heave out the large bag of kitty litter, the cart starts to roll backwards, so I toss my keys on the ledge of the trunk so I can quickly snag the cart. I continue to unload the remaining items and once I'm done I lift Bennett out and slam down the trunk.


As soon as it closes, I instantly remember the keys. Right, I didn't unlock the car. Shit. I quickly look to see how far down the windows are and I'm pretty positive I can reach the lock. I stick my hand in and I'm a bit short, but a lovely young man unloading next to me offers to try and VOILA! Success.

I knew the alarm would start to go off, but in my head - all I had to do was use the trunk button on the door, pop the trunk, get my keys and shut it off.

That is apparently not how this works.

I'm pressing the button and NOTHING is happening...The trunk will not pop. WTH? I then crawl into the backseat, hoping to lay down the seats and crawl into the trunk, however those are locked as well. This car is locked up solid.


I shut the door and after a minute the alarm stops. I stick Bennett back in a cart and roll on down to the automotive department. I explain my predicament.

Me: So, do you have a tool or a device I could purchase that will pop open my trunk?
Walmart Man: No ma'am.
Me: Really?
Walmart Man: Well, no ma'am, because then people would use it to pop open trunks that do not belong to them.

Okay, okay Walmart Man...Dumb idea, I get it!

I head to the service desk and ask if there are lock smiths in the local area - and by golly, indeed there are! The local True Value has a lovely locksmith named Ray. Good ole Ray...I called and while he's asking me a serious of questions about my car, Bennett decides to hang up the phone. I call back and we start over. 

Ray says there is nothing he can do to help. My car has gone into security mode, which means everything is on lock down. Nothing in this car will work until it is out of security mode and the only way to release it from security mode is to start the car. Frig sake.

Or should I say, Checkmate.

My only option is to call home and have someone drive the spare key to me. I really hate to do that, on this nice Summer day, but I am out of options. It's about an hour drive. What a pain. But I don't have a choice.

I go back into Walmart to the service counter and expain that Ray is unable to help, could I please make another phone call.

Walmart Woman: Sure - no problem.
Me: Okay, thank you - but it's long distance.
Walmart Woman: I'm sorry, but we're really not supposed to make long distance calls.
Me: I understand, but you are my only hope here!

Poor Walmart employees, they really wanted to help. But at Walmart Jail, you have to have a manager code to make long distance calls. This poor employee acted like an abused puppy dog at the thought of having to retrieve the access code. After much persusasion, we got the code for me to make ONE long distance call.

Have you ever been faced with ONE phone call before? It's not easy to decide who or where to call, especially in the summer when you're not sure who is working and who will be home. I decide to call my grandparents business. A lot of my family works there and I thought, if nothing else, they can make additional calls to find someone for me. My sister is there - Hallelujah! I attempt to explain my situation and ask her to find someone to go get my key and come save me. But I can't call back, so I'm going to trust you with this job and sit here hoping for the best.

At this point, I just feel bad for Bennett. I keep hoping I will see someone it would be okay to send him home with. I will close the place down, I'll sit here all night, I don't care - but I can't make this poor kid sit here. Then, by the grace of God, in walks my Aunt.

I have to return to my car and purposefully set off the alarm so I can get his car seat. But, because we're in security mode, not even the seats will move - so I am trying to crawl through my car and into the back to get the seat. Do you know me? I'm not a little girl. This was a difficult task.

I manage to wiggle through, unlock the belt and start heaving on the seat. It will not come out...I have no idea why...I heave and heave and heave....

At this point, I feel a melt down coming on. This is going to be my moment. I've made it through all of the above, but now I'm going to break down over a car seat.

Checkmate? I don't f'ing thing so. I step out of the car, take a deep breath, tell myself to pull it together and when I look down, I remember I have the car seat installed properly and need to remove ALL of the buckles, not just the seat belt. Oivey. I crawl back through, manage to release all of the buckles and pull the car seat out.

God love that kid! He was such a good sport, completely unphased by the whole event. We roll back inside, car seat and all...we get changed, juiced up and meet up with my Aunt.  Bennett is blowing kisses to Walmart as I get him settled in the car. Wish I could do the same. And, he's off! Phew.

Again, I'm willing to close the place down. I just wanted to get him on his way. I plunk down on a bench and along comes this older lady, who wants to share it with me. Sure, why not. She chain smoked and carried on about Mariah Carey's divorce (didn't know Mariah Carey was getting a divorce)...but it wasted time. It got to be too hot and I was only stressing about my groceries while I was starring at my car, so I excused myself and decided to plunk down at the service counter bench instead.

When I arrive at the service counter, I discover different employees - there has been a shift change! AHA! I go to the counter and tell them all about my predicament, not leading on that I've already been there and already made my ONE phone call. Sure enough, new code and another phone call!! BOOYAH! I use this one to call Bennett's Mom and fill her in on what is going on and that he is en route with my Aunt.

I am contemplating buying a book, because I have no idea how long I'll be here, when I hear my name - it's my mother! She is surprisingly prompt. I don't waste any time getting on the road. The first thing I notice is that in the process, I assume of heaving on the car seat, I managed to break off my rear view mirror. Whatever.

I book it home and when I arrive, the groceries have been in my car, on one of the hottest days we've had so far, for 6+ hours. So, in the making of this Life of A Rice Adventure - after all that - I did have to throw out the meat, frozen foods and one carton of eggs.  But, it is what it is, tomorrow is a new day and I didn't have to close up Walmart. Gotta look at the bright side, the view is always better from there. 


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