The Never Ending......Sentence?

So many times I've thought about logging in and having a little blog session...to vent, update or inspire. I never really know what is going to come out of my fingertips once I log in. It just happens. I often come here with a thought in mind, but the final result is not always consistent. This time of year is usually my prime. I am certainly one of the many individuals affected by the cruel winters we often face. The early darkness, the climate, the weather...I become a little...introverted, let's say. The time has come to feel good again - but my body is not there yet and is dragging my spirit down with it.

My 48 hour sentence turned into 48 days and continues on...In case you missed it or forgot, the end of April I had a freak incident where my knee locked at an angle and would not extend. This incident of course came along with a series of Rice-like events. If you did miss this you should most certainly return to my previous blog and check it out.

But, for now...let's recap:
April 28 - 10pm - Twisted funny in bed and locked knee.
April 29 - 6am - Can't take it anymore, decided to take myself to the ER.
*Insert Rice-Like events here*
April 29 - 10am - Sent home from ER to ice and elevate and told to return in 48 hours.
May 3 - 12pm - Decided to give it a few extra days and see my local provider instead.

Many moons ago (13 years to be exact) I dislocated my knee cap. Over the years, my knee deteriorated and my condition worsened. I first met my surgeon two years ago when I was referred to him to check on the state of my knee. It was determined I needed a replacement but am much too young - so I've been left in misery until I'm "old enough". Okay, fine, whatever. Until now...

My NP (Nurse Practitioner) decided to send me back to my surgeon to determine the source of the locking and a plan of action.

*Insert long wait for appointment here*

I had a terrible visit/experience with my surgeon who claimed my knee is not locked. My surgeon completely disregarded what I had to say, what both my NP and the ER doctor reported and said it was pain related and a few weeks of physiotherapy would sort it out. I understand this is his specialized area and with all due respect, I do believe in order to diagnosis it may be valuable to take some of patients information into account.

While I didn't personally agree with him, I went to the physiotherapy appointments. However, after only two appointments I was discharged with a letter stating that after a full assessment a source could not be determined that physiotherapy could assist with. Also, the exercises caused great pain - which the physiotherapist said should not happen and he felt determined that physiotherapy was indeed not helpful but possibly even hindering my condition and would not continue at this time.

I received a letter asking me to return for a follow-up with my surgeon. In the mean time, my NP also wanted to follow-up. Thankfully my NP - who knows me, who knows I'm not a complainer decided to order a MRI (which was a bit risky as my surgeon said it was not necessary and this may aggravate him - rightfully so).

The day before I returned to see my surgeon I came home from work to find a message on my machine "You've been exonerated!" it exclaimed. I felt so relieved I could have cried. The pain, the discomfort - it might all come to an end! The MRI detected several large loose bodies in the knee cap area...one of which is lodged at the top of my knee cap causing it to lock according to the radiologist. The radiologist reported that my scans showed the most severe advanced arthritis he had witnessed in someone of my age. This is something I was already aware of from my MRI two years ago - the same was reported then.

Now I'm waiting on my third surgeon appointment. It has been a long, uncomfortable, miserable 3 months of not being able to walk from one room to another without pain, to be able to comfortably drive myself beyond Whiting Corner, to complete simple tasks or to do anything remotely enjoyable. But I get up each day and remind myself that there are people out there hurting far more than I am and I can do some things. This is merely a speed bump. My pain and suffering can eventually come to an end, and that's not the case for many.

I vow to never take my abilities for granted again. I can't wait to get back on my feet. I can't wait to be without the constant, sharp pain, to be able to do anything I need to...to walk...to drive...to dance....to make it through the day comfortably.

Most of all, I can't wait to stop uttering phrases like:
"Sure, I'll go with you...just let me get my cane."
"I'd love to, could you please get me my walker?"
"I think I'll need my wheelchair for that."

Soon the day will come when I can pack up all these items, bid adieu and finally finish up what seems like the never ending sentence. I'm going to keep on keeping on until I get there.